Installing Windows 7 on ExoPC that has MeeGo

1. Put Windows 7 on a USB Stick. It must be a stick, I tried SDHC card and it didn't format right. I used this site for directions on how to put Windows 7 on the USB drive: http://www.intowindows.com/how-to-install-windows-7vista-from-usb-drive-detailed-100-working-guide/

2. Plug in the USB stick into the ExoPC. Turn it on, and press Setup as soon as you see it.

3. When you are in the Setup, click on the Save & Exit tab.

4. Under Boot Override, click on the name of your USB drive, it was the second one under SATA for me.

5. Windows 7 should boot up, follow the directions. Delete current Disk and Partitions to make a disk with unallocated space.

6. Choose the Disk with unallocated space to install Windows 7 and follow on screen directions.

7. Do NOT enter product code during installation, click next. After installation, go to My Computer and go to system properties, scroll all the way to bottom and click on Change Key.

8. Make sure you are not connected to the internet, then Enter the product key. Wait for it to fail to connect online, then click for other activation options and click on automated phone. Call the toll free number.

9. Follow the directions given by the phone. If done correctly, Windows 7 is now fully activated.

10. To connect to internet, you might find that the driver for the built-in Atheros is missing. You need to use a USB internet adapter and connect to the internet temporarily via that way.

11. Once you got your USB internet adapter running internet, do a Windows Update immediately. You will notice the driver for the Atheros driver is there (might be under optional updates). Be sure to have it checked, and run the update and restart the ExoPC. After the driver is installed then you can use the Atheros built-in adapter.

Innocent Garden [5.5g]

Sold half of my submerged UG! Now to figure how to make it grow a little shorter and more rootier, instead of bushier. :D

Roots of Evil

Not only do I have to mess with hard clay earth, but I have dig every single remaining Creeping Juniper roots and Siberian Elm saplings out. Did I mention how hard they are to get out, and back breaking of course. Ughhh!!

Ever wondered what to do with that big mess after you've mowed down your UG lawn??

Utricularia graminifolia makes a wonderful grass-like foreground in a planted aquarium. I have it mainly in my 5.5g Innocent Garden aquarium. That tank has higher light and higher concentration of CO2 being pumped in. I have placed it in my lower light aquariums, it did live, however it eventually uprooted itself and is now a floating clump exploring around the tanks. I also noticed the UG in my 5.5g stretching towards the light and can see the roots being exposed, so I thought maybe it is time to mow this baby down, to help get some more light to the bottom of the leaves.

Well if you ever mowed down a UG carpet, you know what a huge mess it makes... tons of green leafy blades just floating all over the surface of the water. And if you got some serious water circulation, this mess isn't just at the surface of the water; it's all over the tank getting caught onto other plants and equipment! I looked at these wonderful looking leaves and wondered if there was something useful I could do with them rather than netting all the leaves and just tossing them into the trash.

So I took several pinches of the mess and stuck some on top of the biomax in my Aquaclear 20. There it would stay nice and wet, and not get swept away by the current. I did notice some growth over the several weeks I had it there, and finally when I decided to clean my filter just a few days ago, I took out the Biomax and 'lo and behold the UG had indeed grew and rooted and was clinging on for dear life onto the Biomax baggie.

Well what about the rest of the leaves? Again, I didn't want to waste such nice looking leaves! Not only did I salvage those few pinches on to the filter, but I used my fish net and swept out as much of the leaves I could. I prepared a plastic container with a mix of sphagnum peat moss and sand on the bottom. I also put some lava rocks on that right corner and covered it with some peat/sand. I sprayed the peat with lots of tap water to get it moist, it sure is hard to get peat wet again after it's been dried. Well after a while I got it wet enough so I spread the UG clippings all over the peat. I also had a trimming of Limnophila aromatica so I stuck that in the opposite corner to the lava rocks. Although you do not see the L. aromatica, it has grown fairly well and needs to be trimmed since then it has reached the top and is being inhibited to grow taller by the plastic wrap!

I made sure everything was fairly moist and then covered the container with plastic wrap and stuck it next to a window for some natural sunlight since I have no spare light fixtures. I started this "project" on September 1, 2011 and today I took some pictures for my final results.

As you can see, there has been quite some growth, it looks pretty and 'wild' I think. The original trimmed leaves sent out roots which then sent out new leaves.

This is a picture of a trimmed leaf that got stuck to the wall and I was too lazy to shove it down to the dirt. As you can see, root-like structure has also formed!

So if you have a spare container, some peat and sand, and a windowsill; and want something to do with your mess of UG clippings then you can either grow them emersed, or just stick it in your filter (if you got one similar to mine) and grow some extra UG submersed! Never ending supply of UG, yay!

Gardening

Well I haven't been keeping track of my aquariums because I was very busy tilling a plot of land in my backyard. I plan on splitting the plot in half; half for food-type plants and the other half for plants that attract butterflies and bees. This plot hasn't been touched for at least 16 years, and only has ugly Creeping Junipers, weeds and very evil Siberian Elm saplings in the ground. So not only are there a bunch of pain in the ass plants to remove but the ground is rock hard! Thank you Colorado, for having rock hard clay soil /sarcasm.

Anyways, I began watering the area for 15 minutes a day for a few days to help soften up the ground. I pulled up the Creeping Junipers and the weed cloth. Then to soften and crumble the ground I used a mattock with a three-prong and axe head. The ground was okay to work with, but the painful frustrating part was trying to remove the roots of the Creeping Junipers and the Siberian Elm saplings, of which both kinds of plants were extremely established. Getting them out completely was impossible, so I dug as deep as possible and yanked out what I could. I am contemplating on using some Round-Up and squirting it on the roots so hopefully they die and I don't have to worry about these evil plants sending up new shoots in the next Spring.

 

It is such hard work to get to these evil roots. I hope in the end all my back-breaking work will pay off, in future I will probably have some back problems because of this. I am still not done with getting rid of all these roots, there are just so many. Sometimes it is very frustrating and I kinda wished to do a raised garden bed, but my parents don't want me to since they think I'll lose interest after a season.

Day 21 - Innocent Garden [5.5g]

Quick and dirty pics, yes i still have algae problem, I think I need a Nerite, but the water is really acidic. All the pest snails in there I just poke them LIGHTLY and SPLAT!!! They are squished.

Day 1 - Borneo Fantasy [10g]

Borneo Fantasy, a little bare now but hopefully things will grow in. The inhabitants a currently (7) Chili Rasboras, (7) Blue Axelrodi, and (2) Orange Eye Blue Tiger Shrimp. Borneo because supposedly the Chili Rasboras and Blue Axelrodi can be found in Borneo.

 

 

Day 14 - Innocent Garden [5.5g]

Busy busy busy

On August 18, 2011 my sister had to move into her dorm at the University of Northern Colorado. I woke up early because my sister wanted to the be the first one there so she can claim her spot, so my mom said we should leave the house by 7am. However, my sister was still asleep and so we didn't leave until around 8:40am. I was pressed for time, because I was expecting some packages with live items and didn't want them to roast in the summer heat inside a mailbox.

When we finally got there we lugged everything up and claimed her space. Boy are my arms, shoulder, and neck sore! I helped my sister set everything up and then we went to pay her tuition and get her textbooks. I left at 1pm and on my way home had a Goodtimes Deluxe Burger with Wild Fries and a Strawberry Lemonade. I was starved, didn't eat breakfast cuz I tend to get sick.

Grrrr, me boogie monster.

Anyways, when I got home my packages we here. To my disappointment, the box of moss I was expecting from msnikkistar wasn't here and I began to panic and think that it got lost yet again. However, it was because she hadn't sent the replacement yet. I PMed her and she said she sent it out today (8/18) so I guess I'll expect them to show up on Saturday. I then proceed to open a box from Caton which supposedly had some live fish food; Microworms and Vinegar Eels. I was worried they might have been cooked, but I took a flashlight to both containers and saw nice wriggly movements. So I separated the cultures into my own medias so they can get going. My other package contained the textbooks needed for the classes I'm taking this Fall.

Microworms.

So today, my mom and I went back to UNC to deliver the rest of the stuff my sister needed. Then we left and had lunch at Chick Fil A. I had the Spicy Chicken Deluxe sandwich meal and my mom had Grilled Chicken sandwich. We then went shopping at Target and Sam's Club. At Sam's Club we bought a bag of Spicy Asian Chicken Wings. They taste good, they kinda remind me of something but I can't put my finger on what.

Spicy Asian Chicken Wings

Day 7 - Innocent Garden [5.5g]

As you can see I have a little bit of an algae problem.

Caught my first fish on a fly rod!

Caught this small sunfish on my fly fishing rod. First time catching anything on it, I still have to improve my technique though. Today was a little frustrating though, my sister accidentally closed the car trunk door on the rod which broke the rod tip. Then it became really windy which affected my casting and got my line tangled a few times. I also kept snagging twigs in the water.

Day 1- Innocent Garden [5.5g]

Rescaped the 5g tank.

Dragon Boat Festival, IKEA, and Crayfish dinner, oh my!

Today we went to Sloan's Lake in Denver to look at the Colorado Dragon Boat Festival. They sold all sorts of Asian foods, it smelled really good and almost very tempting to buy. Also saw some souvenirs, and very overpriced soda. We stayed for a bit and then decided to head to the new one and only IKEA (Centennial) in Colorado.

We arrived at IKEA, but it took forever because they were redirecting traffic and stuff, because it is so congested. IKEA had their grand opening on July 27. When we got inside and waas about to take the escalator upstairs, they told us to wait and we had to follow a lady to form a waiting line. Good thing we were at the front of the line, because when we came back out of the store, the line was extremely long and wrapped around the garage several times. If I saw a line that long, I'd turn around and leave!

I tried their Swedish Meatball combo with my sister. It came with 15 swedish meatballs with gravy, a scoop of mash potato, and lingonberry sauce; and salad, and a drink. I drank some lingonberry juice, which kinda reminded me of a much sweeter version of Cranberry juice. It tasted pretty good, I enjoyed it. Then we browsed their showrooms and I felt like I was taking a tour of a store. We then went downstairs and looked at some smaller individual items. Boy was it hot in that store, I guess with all those people inside the A/C had no power over the body heat.

After that, we decided to try some food in their cafe area. I had a pizza slice with drink and my sister had a vanilla frozen yogurt. The pizza was pretty good, and of course we had lingonberry juice for the drink. My sister really enjoyed the frozen yogurt. We hung out to rest on some couches for a while before leaving the store.

After IKEA we made our way to South Platte Park, which was fairly close by. We tried fishing the river, but my sister didn't really want to try it. So we drove a little bit further to access to the ponds. When we got there we tried to go fishing for fish but got no bites. We saw a father with his two young sons fishing for crayfish with some hot dogs. So I added a Gulp! Salmon egg on my hook and started fishing for them as well. I caught some on the artificial salmon eggs. The father offered us some hotdogs since he wouldn't be able to use them all and they would just spoil anyways, so we used them and caught a lot more. We took ours home and ate them. They were delicious.

Fly fishing

Today I learned how to fly fish. It is a bit difficult because all I knew before was how to spin fish. It was difficult because I kept wanting to whip the line out; I flick my wrist a lot and I stop poorly. The stop is what drives the line out. Hopefully I will improve as I practice (away from view of course).

Learning to fly fish from a buddy.

My prince is a toad

Today we walked Crystal at Golden Ponds. At first we were going to walk her from Izaak Walton to Golden Ponds, but it started to rain a little so my sister wanted to only walk around Golden Ponds instead. At Golden Ponds we went onto the pier and looked into the water and saw a bunch of Sunfish and a trout. Crystal was getting a bit impatient so we began walking around. We walked to Pond #4, but before that we walked down to the stream to let Crystal cool off her paws. I saw a toad and caught it.

My Prince is a Toad.

 I gave it a kiss, but unfortunately he didn't magically turn into some Prince. Maybe the toad was female, or am I doomed to turn into a toad in the future?! As we walked back up to the path, I saw another toad but this one was much smaller. We let Crystal swim in the pond, however the pond had a ton of nasty algae in it. My sister began to look for the frogs we saw here last time. Indeed we found them, bullfrogs I think they are. She shot some pictures and I handed her the net so she can try to catch it. She almost caught one, but because she was fiddling around with the algae it got away.

I then caught a small crayfish and used it as bait. I couldn't find any bass large enough to eat it, but then I saw a snapping turtle so I tossed my hook in front of him and BAM!!! With lightning quick reflexes he snatched up my poor innocent crayfish and managed to only leave a small piece of tail on my hook. Good thing he didn't get hooked I'm not sure how I would've landed him.

Once upon a busy day

On July 23, my sister and I went to eat at Q-Table BBQ Buffet in Northglenn. It costs $19.95 per person, which is pretty much the average cost when eating 'unlimited' Korean BBQ. We tried a little bit of everything, but the main course was the Korean BBQ. They had beef intestines, spicy chicken, spicy pork, bulgogi, short ribs, chadol, and pork belly.I also tried their spicy chicken wing, sour bbq chicken, sweet potato, etc.

The beef intestines tasted like a piece of pure fat. Gross. Well it is better than the pork intestines we tried at the Dim Sum place. The intestines we had at the Dim Sum restaurant smelled like poop and tasted like poop. The beef intestines here at Q-Table didn't have such a vulgar scent or taste. The rest of meats were great, but the short ribs are always the best.

After lunch we proceeded to the Denver Botanic Gardens. We each paid the $8 admission, and first started to look around the gift shop. We headed on out to the extreme heat and began our tour of the gardens. I was really psyched to see their orchids, cactus and succulents, and carnivorous plants. One of the coolest plants we saw was the Sensitive Plant (Mimosa pudica), it was cool because when you touch them, their leaves close up. Today I ordered some of the seed from eBay, so I can hopefully grown my own.

To much of my dismay, the building in which the orchids were housed in was closed due to a private event. Bummed out we continued along the rest of the gardens. We saw some goldfish at the Japanese Garden; and the tea house was also closed because they were doing a tea ceremony which cost $30 to participate in. We also rescued a dragonfly that was drowning in the pond, it stood on my hand for awhile until I placed him on a nearby plant so he could dry off his wings and recover.

It was very very hot, at least 95*F, I was sweating like no tomorrow hehe. After that we went indoors and chugged down a lot of the water from the water fountain until the fountain started spouting warm water. We left the Denver Botanic Gardens and then proceeded to GameStop. Along the way, we stopped at a McDonalds because we were really hot still and quite thirsty, and I had a horrible headache due to the heat (due to the beginning of heat exhaustion?). I ordered a large frozen Strawberry Lemonade and Megan ordered a small Mango Pineapple Smoothie. We chugged down our drinks and felt much relieved. We continued to GameStop and when we got there we found out the game I was looking for was sold out. We had to head to a different GameStop to find it.

After GameStop, we headed back to H-Mart which we passed by when we were going to the second GameStop. Bought some groceries for mom and some ingredients Megan needed for her dishes. I bought some lychees that were pretty good, and two custard buns. I was kinda debating in my head if I wanted to bring home a delicious Monkfish for my mom to us, but in the end decided not to.

It was quite a day, we didn't get home until 9pm.

And once again I blog.

Yesterday after school, my sister and I decided to visit the Butterfly Pavilion because we haven't been there for a long time and I had a $2 off coupon. The last time we went there was probably sometime in 2001, so maybe about 10 years ago was our first time at BP.

After paying the admission fees, we headed towards the exhibits to look at the bugs. Of course there was Rosie, a real live tarantula that people can actually hold. I held her back then, but this time I didn't; besides there was a long line of kids waiting to hold her. BP also has a little section for aquatic invertebrates such as jellyfish, lobster, horseshoe crab, and starfish. The best part is entering the butterfly exhibit; boy was it hot and humid in there! Plenty of species of awesome butterflies and plants to look at. While in the exhibit a butterfly landed on my head, and one landed on my sister's knee.

After that, we went to the gift shop and looked around. I bought some chocolate that had big black ants in it. There was four pieces of chocolate, and each piece had only two black ants in it. I think that was cheap, they should've put a few more in! Last time I bought some roasted mealworms.

Butterfly Pavilion 2011

Anyways, today I rescaped my aquarium. There was a problem with having too many plants overcrowding each other blocking light which caused some of the plants to fall ill and die. I am also having some algae issues but hopefully it'll clear up soon. Below is a picture of what it looks like now, it may look empty but I am waiting for some Eleocharis spp. 'Belem' to arrive in the mail so I put it in the empty spaces in front. I'm hoping it'll grow into a nice carpet. If this plan doesn't work out, there would be Plan B...

I also planted one of my Pinguicula primuliflora into a glass vase along with some clumps of Utricularia graminifolia. I'm hoping the UG will spread around the butterwort like grass around a larger plant. I really love Carnivorous Plants. My favorite type are definitely Butterworts, and if the climate here was a bit more suitable for them and I had the funds I'd have a room dedicated to CPs.

In the evening, my sister and I went fishing at the St. Vrain State Park. Not much action today, all I caught was a baby fish while my sister caught a moderately sized Black Crappie.

What if, what if, what if?

What if? What if? What if? Oh the infamous 'what if' questions that race through people's heads... Sure it is normal to have these questions, but what if they conquer a person's mind and nothing is thought about but 'what ifs'?

That person would be me. Nothing but 'what if'. What if I can't do this, what if I can't do that? What if I can not meet their expectations? What if something goes wrong? What if I mess up? What if, what if, what if? My own utter lack of self-confidence sickens me, and it hinders severely with my life. I can't move on with life, or feel happy...

For example, I would look for job postings and find a few then I look at the requirements, then I would start to envision myself in that position then all these stupid 'what if' questions start running and sooner or later I close the tab to the job... ie: there is a dog walker position but then I think: what if he slips his collar, what if he gets hurts, what if he runs away, what if, what if what if....

I feel so lost and don't know what to do with my life. In addition with all those other problems I have, I just am in so much despair. I would never be able to do anything in my life, even for a moment that I think positive with an ounce of hope it gets washed away. Sometimes I really wished I didn't exist or be able to start my life over with a different gene programming, like with my mom's outgoing talkativeness gene... I just don't know any more, really...

I REALLY WANT TO GO FISHING!!!!!

All of the sudden I really want to go fishing. I don't really remember exactly what triggered it, but I believe it had to do with my sister talking about something when we took Crystal to the the dog park.

So now I really wanna go fishing. I was looking some stuff up like rods and reels, and I decided I would like to get a new one since mine is fairly old and the reel is kinda broke, and a little too short for my liking. I probably would like to get a rod that is a minimum of 7 feet long. I was thinking about the Abu Garcia Cardinal Bruiser combo from Walmart. Many people recommended the Shakespeare Ugly Stik, but my sister already has one of those and I would like to try something new but proven. I also went to Walmart to check out some of the artificial bait/lures. I have some things in mind to get.

I also looked up some ponds, lakes, and reservoirs for us to fish at. Wow I had no idea there was salmon in Colorado, granted they tend to be in the colder bodies of water up in the mountains but still! I wanna catch a Northern Pike or Walleye one day, those are pretty tasty fish and expensive in the grocery stores when they do have it.

On the other hand, I had a job interview this afternoon. It was short and quick, I don't know how well I did. Probably not that well since I found it hard to answer the questions and it last less than 30 minutes!

Korean BBQ~~

Yesterday my sister and I drove to Korea House in Aurora to enjoy some Unlimited Korean BBQ. I probably just gained all the weight I lost right then and there lol. It took a little over an hour to get to the restaurant. I also met 'Phish' on The Planted Tank so I could give him some of my plant trimmings from my tank.

After a brief chat with Phish, my sister and I proceeded to enter Korea House. I felt it was a pretty nice place, not as "fancy" as Seoul BBQ... definitely felt more homey. In the center of the restaurant were the low tables where you seat on a cushion on the floor. Well that spot was reserved so, we had to sit in the standard booths. We were given glasses of ice water, at Seoul BBQ they gave us some sort of barley tea. Then we told the lady we wanted two unlimited BBQ, and she told us to pick three meats from the menu. So we choose beef tongue, pork kalbi, and spicy chicken to start.

So soon the male waiter came and bought out the banchan (side dishes). I was focused on saving my stomach to gobble down my $19 worth of meat, so I hardly ate any of the sides. Within minutes the lady waitress came back with our plate of raw marinated meats. She showed us how to grill on the hot plate with the beef tongue then left us to it. Soon she came back with a bowl of miso soup for the both of us.

We finished that plate of meat pretty quick, so when she came back we ordered Bulgogi and Spicy Pork next. My sister started to feel full earlier than I did probably because she had been munching away on the sides more than I have. I think my favorite meats were the pork kalbi and the bulgogi. Next time we'll have to try their chadol and maybe the bacon. Grilled bacon anyone? Haha.

The lady asked if we wanted more meat and I declined, she then bought us a teacup of sikhye. I guzzled it down. This one didn't taste as sweet and wasn't slushie like at Seoul BBQ.

Overall, I prefer this place to Seoul BBQ, because it felt more "beginner" friendly and more home like.

Excited over nothing

Wow, I don't know why I am getting excited over a DSLR camera. It's like I'm expecting to get it soon. I currently don't have the money for sure, but if I did I would be running to Best Buy in a heartbeat and buy the Rebel T2i while it is on sale!

Perhaps it is because I am so envious of everyone taking awesome macro pictures, that I really want to do the same. I really do love taking non-people pictures,; especially macro, nature, and landscape photography. I would love to bring it to the next level. You can only do so much with a P&S after all...

Sigh, even if I did have the money I bet my parents would get pissed off anyways. I told my mom last night when I have the money the first thing I'm gonna buy is a DSLR. Then she started rambling on how I'm wasting money and how I don't need it and asked me if I thought my dad would let me get it. In my mind I said of course not; the last time I said I wanted a DSLR he told me that I don't need it because I'm not a PROFESSIONAL photographer or going to be one.

But the Canon Rebel series are an ENTRY level DSLR, professionals use DSLR that cost over $1000 just for the freaking camera BODY (meaning it does not come with lenses) and not to mention $1000+/each LENSES; and god knows what else they buy (expensive flashes?). Wow. And here I am just asking to buy me a $900 camera KIT (comes with a standard quality lens), $600 macro lens, $350 flash, and few more $$$ for the memory card and -necessary- supplies... sure it is definitely a lot of money, I am not gonna lie it does make me cringe, but if you call that "professional" I don't know what those people that spend over $1000 for just the body are... photography gods that overspend?!

They never approve of my hobbies... aquariums, photography... says it is a waste of time and money... now I am feeling depressed as I think about it. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Another motivation...

I submitted another job application, I highly doubt something will happen. I am only motivated now because I really want the following ASAP:

• Adobe Creative Suite 5 Design Premium Student and Teacher Edition
• 29g tank, T5-HO light, CO2 equipment, high light plants, and some Gertrude's, Furcata, and Threadfin Rainbowfish
• Website and Domain name with Whois Privacy
• Canon EOS Rebel T2i EF-S 18-55mm IS Kit, EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro USM Lens, Speedlite 430EX II
• My own house, or a place I own and not rent.....

But I know it is all a dream, and that I'm not really going to get a job. But I would probably say that the DSLR digi-cam and the lenses are my first priority. I've always loved photography; especially macro photography, and really wish to bring it to the next level from Point and Shoots.

I do also remember bits of my dream last night. I remember being in a darkish room with white walls, across me against the wall was an aquarium and a light fixture hung above it several inches. This fixture which lights the tank was the only light illuminating the room a little. The tank was very clean and rimless, lots of high light plants, some colorful fishes. I then remembering talking to AzFishKid about plants and his tank, but he was not physically there, as if I were talking to the aquarium itself! Then I remember suddenly standing on a branch high on an leafy tree. The tree had thick stump, brown rough bark, and started branching off fairly low, the branches continued to stay very thick and sturdy. The leaves were moderate in size, ovalate or lanceolate in shape, and had indents at the edge of the leaf. I remember peering away and seeing a fairly big, lit-up city in the distance, the sky was dusk. Then I peer down at the foot of the tree and see two unknown people sleeping against the tree.



Room
To dream that you are in a room, represents a particular aspect of yourself or a specific relationship. Dreams about various rooms often relate to hidden areas of the conscious mind and different aspects of your personality. If the room is welcoming or comfortable, then it signifies opulence and satisfaction in life. If you see a dark or confined room, then it denotes that you feel trapped or repressed in a situation.

Light
To see soft or shadowy lighting in your dreams, indicates feelings and thoughts from the primal aspects and less developed parts of your unconscious.

White
White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. Alternatively, white refers to a clean, blank slate. Or it may refer to a cover-up. In Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning.

Walls
To see a wall in your dream, signifies limitations. obstacles and boundaries. There is a barrier obstructing your progress. Alternatively, the wall indicates that you are too accustomed to your old habits and way of thinking. You feel stuck.

Aquarium
To see an aquarium in your dream, signifies that you have acknowledged your emotions but have not yet confronted them. Thus, it may refer to your unconscious thoughts or repressed sexual desires. Also, you may feel that your life is going nowhere or that you feel it is going in circles. Alternatively, the aquarium may indicate that you need to calm down and set some time for yourself to relax and unwind.

Talking
To dream that you are talking does not have any significance unless it is unusual or bizarre. What are you saying specifically. Consider also if what you say evoke strong feelings or behavioral reactions. The dream may simply be highlighting your need improve your communication skills or learn to express yourself more clearly.

Trees
To see lush green trees in your dream, symbolize new hopes, growth, desires, knowledge, and life. It also implies strength, protection and stability. You are concentrating on your own self-development and individuation.

City
To see a city in your dream, signifies your social environment and sense of community. If you dream of a big city, then it suggests that you need to develop closer ties and relationships. You are feeling alienated and alone.

Dusk
To see the dusk of day in your dream, signifies defeated hopes and a dark, gloom outlook in your endeavors.

Two
Two stands for balance, diversity, partnership, marriage cooperation, soul, or receptivity. It can also symbolize double weakness or double strength. The world is seen as being made up of dualities and opposites, as in the male and female, mother and father, light and dark, heaven and hell, yin and yang, etc.

People
To see people you don't know in your dream, denotes hidden aspects of yourself that you need to confront or acknowledge.

Sleeping
To see someone sleeping in your dream, is a reflection of yourself and your own unconscious mind. It is telling you that you may not be alert or informed about a particular situation.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Today is Chinese New Year, the year of the Metal Rabbit!!! So Happy New Year!!

I remember vaguely last night's dream

I can't exactly remember what happens but there are some key symbols that I do remember. I do remember that I was crying in my dreams, and ended up waking up cuz I felt tears roll as I was sleeping.


Ice Cream
To see or eat ice cream in your dream, denotes good luck, pleasure, success in love and satisfaction with your life. You need to savor the moment and enjoy it. Alternatively, the dream may suggest that you need to cool off and not let your temper get out of hand. On the other hand, the ice cream may be a pun on "I scream". Perhaps there is something that you need to let out.

Dog
To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. The dream dog may also represent someone in your life who exhibits these qualities. Alternatively, to see a dog in your dream, indicates a skill that you may have ignored or forgotten.

Crying
To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.

To wake up crying, represents some suppressed hurt or previous trauma that is coming up to the surface. You can no longer suppress these emotions. They need to be dealt with head on.

I just want my own life...

I just want to have my own life, have my own hobbies, do things in peace! But how can when I don't even have my own house and my own paycheck? All I ever hear from my parents is how I am making their house smaller and once my things die, such as plant, do not get anymore. What is so wrong with having a hobby? They say when I get a job that I would not have the time to do such thing, so I better stop now.

The world is so unfair. I compare myself to others, and it seems like most people's parents encourage them to have a hobby. Why can't I? When I want to watch some anime or play some video/computer games, all my mom ever tells me is how childish it is and that I should stop since I am not going into that industry. When I want to start a garden, my mom tells me I am not going to be a farmer, and finally when I tell her that I'll be a effing hobo she tells me that is horrible and how stupid I am for saying that.

There is nothing I am good at, I've been avoiding jobs that I have "training" in because I have absolutely no confidence and full of bad "what ifs". My hobbies are something that bring me a little peace of mind, something I can do and feel good about. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on life, wishing I was never born into this miserable world...

One of my mom's regrets is not being more of a "Tiger Mother" and earlier in our lives...

The Hopeless Profession - Part 3

Well I am going to try to be brave and apply for a job, as much I am fearing it to death. It has been many months since that experience and I really want to move on with life. I would like work experience and start making my own money, and unfortunately... pay income tax...

I started the application process, but I'm already feeling distressing pangs of despair and discouragement as I progress though each portion. I can not fill out the work experience part because I do not have any. References are going to be absolutely barren, as I may only have one personal reference; and even that I am not 100% certain. Now isn't that something, not very attractive I suppose. I may get to the last step which is to finally submit the application, but will I click submit or will I 'X-out' of the page and try to forget about it? This may be the big chance; my big chance, but what if it will bring nothing but agony yet again? I am so afraid, I do not know what to do exactly.

The Chinese horoscope claims that this year will be a good year for those born in the year of the Horse. It would be nice if that is true for me.....


2011 horoscope for Horse of metal element

The most important thing is that in 2011 year of the white rabbit, you will not only lose, but gain even more confidence. It is this incomparable state, when you think you can do anything, that will be a key driver that leading you to success in 2011. Moreover, if your heart is free, then in 2011 you have a good chance to encounter an ideal partner on your way.

2011 Horse Horoscope In Metal Rabbit Year

For the Horse to have a smooth flowing Year of the Rabbit in 2011, the Chinese astrology forecasts that the Horse must be ready to embrace change and be ready to adjust to new procedures and learn to adapt their skills and also undertake the necessary training. By becoming flexible and persistent, the Horse will secure the opportunity that they have been seeking. 2011 is also a good period for those with the Horse zodiac sign to gain new skills and experience. Horse can look forward to an increase in their income due to their progress at the office but on the other hand, they must pay more attention to their expenditures.

According to the 2011 Horse horoscope in the metal rabbit year, the Metal Horse who are born in 1930 and 1990 will see many important openings that can open up for them in the rabbit year and thus improving their 2011 outlook. Metal Horse who are in education will see the rabbit year as a very significant period. Not all of the Metal Horse plans will go smoothly but there will be many important opportunities opening up for them. The career star will shine brightly for the Metal Horse in 2011 because once they demonstrate their skills, there will be many promotion possibilities. On the financial side for the Metal Horse, they will face some big expenses in the Year of the Rabbit. The love and romance area for the Metal Horse may also face some obstacles in 2011.

The Hopeless Profession - Part 2

The last interview I had was sometime last year. It was regarding a position at the Larimer Humane Society. I walked on in and asked for the lady who had called me. I took a seat and waited. As usual, I felt extremely nervous and wanting to back out at the last minute. What if I dressed wrong, what if I talk wrong, what if I make a horrendous first impression? Of course as usual I expected that I won't be getting the job.

Well then the lady came out and I followed her to her office, proceeding to the interview. Of course the beginning of it started off really awkward due to my nervousness and anxiety problem. After awhile, the interview actually started to become better and I began to feel less nervous.

I felt extremely good coming out of the interview. The interview actually felt like it went well and fun for once and after the first couple minutes my nervousness died down to a minimum. The way she talked to me made me feel like she was really interested and that I had a really good chance of getting my first job! I was ecstatic and hurried home to write my follow-up/thank you letter. Then I started to look for a more fancier thank you card plus what I would write in it should I get the job. Well days passed by and I had no news, and according to some websites it said that I should contact her after a few days. So I did and she said they were still finishing up on the interviews. So, I waited some more, maybe a week passed before I knew the results.

I then received the email from her regarding the position. I opened it with extraordinarily high hopes to see that I finally got my first job. Much to my dismay, it read that they had chosen someone else...

With profound disappointment, I wrote back thanking her for her time and consideration. I also asked if there was something I could have done to make myself more ideal. Well, I never received a response after that.

After that I really felt exceptionally depressed for several days, often crying myself to sleep. I was such a freaking fool to get my hopes up so effing high. Why? Why did I do that? If I hadn't, maybe I wouldn't have felt so down and hurt. I didn't do it before, I had always expected nothing but the worst that's why being told I didn't get the job didn't hurt so much before. But this time because I freaking moron and got my effing hopes so effing high that it hurt so bad. It really hurt, my heart sunk to endless pit, I was so sad, so broken. It really hurt like something else. For once I felt like I had a good chance, that I could be useful, that I was good enough for someone, and that I finally found my place in this world. Finally, finally, finally!!! But boy, was I extremely wrong.

Ever since then, I've been really avoiding filling out job applications. I would find one fill it out, then close out of it at the very last step. I really do need a job, but now I am so deathly afraid of interviews. Before I would be happy just to get an interview because it meant I was one step closer to getting a job since I hardly ever get an interview. But now, I am just horribly scared I just can't go through with it.

Just thinking about this and writing about it brings me to tears and making my nose rain boogers, it just too painful for me to bear. I wish it would just go away, but it won't. It is such an agonizing memory, one I will probably never forget...

Alternate World Dream

I remembered last night's dream. My sister and I were at PetSmart, looking at some aisle. I remember at the end of the aisle were the tanks that had live reptiles in it. I remember seeing a small python-like snake trying to attack a little girl through the glass to no avail, because the girl kept banging on its tank and disturbing it as it was trying to eat a rat it just killed. I remember either the rat or the snake being grey in color and the snake having patterns on its back.

Then I remember buying the snake... and its meal and ending up going to the nearby King Soopers. I remember being there with my new snake while it still tried to swallow the rat, and remembering being at the cashier with several cartons of milk. I told my sister that we were buying too much milk, but went ahead and purchased them. As we were leaving, suddenly we found ourselves in an alternate world.

I saw a large building in the distance, and we headed towards it. When we reach the building, I enter it and at this point my sister completely disappears from this dream. I enter, and was greeted by a group of people and they escorted me to the basement to a room with 3 doors; . I see and old guy working on something. Suddenly some alarm sounds and instinctively I run to one of the two doors that I had not been through. I open it and walk in and look up and see two stones on the ceiling, one of them was lit up and green. The old man asks, "is it Catherine?" and I said no. Then he says, "pick a door, you must escape." I run to the other closed door, and the other people follow; I look up and see two stones too, one of them was lit up as well, but it was black. So we leave through this door and as we escape, we encounter the "enemy" and fight them. Unfortunately we were defeated, and my dream ends here.



Pets
To see a pet in your dream, represents civilized instincts. You are keeping your temper in line. Alternatively, seeing a pet indicates a need for love and acceptance. Perhaps, you are lacking attention from others and are feeling neglected.


Python
To see a python in your dream, represents lurking danger, sin, lacking freedom and overt sexuality. The symbol may also parallel a waking relationship where you are feeling constricted and confined. Alternatively, a python may signify your determination.

To see a python kill its prey, suggests that you are feeling emotionally stressed and anxious. You are being suffocated in some area of your life.


Snake
To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced.


Rats
To see a rat in your dream, signifies feelings of doubts, greed, guilt, unworthiness and envy. You are keeping something to yourself that is eating you up inside. Or you have done something that you are not proud of. Alternatively, a rat denotes repulsion, decay, dirtiness, and even death. The dream may also be a pun on someone who is a rat. Are you feeling betrayed?


Girls
To see a girl in your dream, represents your playful, innocent, and childlike nature. Perhaps you are behaving immaturely in some situation. Alternatively, a girl represents the feminine qualities of your character.


Gray
Gray indicates fear, fright, depression, ill health, ambivalence and confusion. You may feel emotionally distant, isolated, or detached.Alternatively, the color gray symbolizes your individualism.


Market
To dream that you are in a market, represents some emotional or physical need that you are currently lacking in your life. You may be in need of nurturance and some fulfillment. Consider the specific items that you are shopping for. Alternatively, the market signifies frugality.


Milk
To see milk in your dream, symbolizes maternal instincts and motherly love. It also denotes human kindness, wholesomeness, and compassion. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor that someone is "milking" you, either emotionally or financially.


Building
To see a building in your dream, represents the self and the body. How high you are in the building indicates a rising level of understanding, awareness or success. If you are in the lower levels of the building, then it refers to more primal attitudes and/or sexuality.


Groups
To see a group in your dream, refers to the merging of various aspects of your character and personality.


Basement
To dream that you are in a basement, symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction.It represents primal urges, animalistic desires and basic needs. The dream may also be metaphor for "abasement" or being "debased". Are you feeling humbled or unworthy?


Three
Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience. Three stands for a trilogy, as in the past, present, and future or father, mother, and child or body, mind, and soul, etc. Dream of the number three may be telling you that the third time is the charm.


Door
To dream that the door is closed or locked, signifies opportunities that are denied and not available to you or that you have missed out on. Something or someone is blocking your progress. It also symbolizes the ending of a phase or project. In particular, if you are outside the locked door, then it suggests that you have anti-social tendencies. If you are inside the locked door, then it represents harsh lessons that need to be learned.


Man
To see an old man in your dream, represents wisdom or forgiveness. The old man may be a archetypal figure who is offering guidance to some daily problem.

Black
Black symbolizes the unknown, the unconscious, danger, mystery, darkness, death, mourning, rejection, hate or malice.The color invites you to delve deeper in your unconscious in order to gain a better understanding of yourself. It also signifies a lack of love and lack of support.More positively, black represents potential and possibilities. It is like a clean or blank slate.


Escape
To dream that you escape from jail or some place of confinement, signifies your need to escape from a restrictive situation or attitude. Alternatively, it suggests that you are refusing to face your problems. You are avoiding the situation, instead of confronting them.

Enemy
To see your enemy in your dream, represents opposing ideas and contradictory attitudes. You are in denial about something or you are rejecting someone. Enemies may also represent the enemies within yourself and the inner conflict you have with yourself. Consider the phrase "I am my own worst enemy." Perhaps you are trying to rid yourself of certain aspects of your character.

To dream that you are dealing with an enemy, represents a resolution to some inner conflict or waking life problem.


Defeat
To dream that you have been defeated, indicates that you are headed in the wrong direction. You need to reevaluate the situation and rethink what is really best for you. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you need to learn from your experiences, even the negative ones.

The Hopeless Profession - Part 1

Money. Is it an essential thing in life? Surely, it is; at least in a part of your life. With money you can buy material things, things you want. However, of course, there are somethings that money can't buy.

It depresses me to the point where I feel overwhelming despair and explicit pangs of sadness drive me insane to even think about the future I want, money, job, things I would like to have. What do I want in life? Well I would like to work so I can have some money to buy me a nice moderately sized house with a moderately size backyard and unfurnished basement which I would dedicate to as my 'fish room'. Then I would love to adopt some Siberian Huskies, and provide them with plenty of enrichment and high quality food. I would also like to have the funds to further my current hobbies or discover new ones.

When I really want something, I start to look for job openings, so I could get a job which would get me some money... but then the immeasurable feelings of despair, sadness, and lack of self-worth begin to set in. I look desperately for a job opening that I believe I can do, and trust me there are hardly any. When I do find one I hurriedly write up my cover letter, resume and fill out the online application. However, at the very last step right before submitting the entire thing I usually end up X-ing out of it. What if I get an interview? Will i have to go through that again? I don't want to be hurt again. It was so painful, so very painful... an immense agony I will never forget....

This is not a perfect world

It is not a perfect world, and it never will be. If there was then there would nothing to perfect no longer.

The world is ending. What is wrong with this world? There are some mad people mad for some silly reasons, then there are some overly optimistic people. It makes me sick!!! How can they be so optimistic? Have they never experienced the negative side of life? What makes them think that people who are negative all the time really want to live in misery? It may be true for some, but not everyone who is miserable wants to stay that way. How utterly absurd. Miserable people suck? Why don't they walk in our shoes before saying crap about miserable people. Just because you are fortunate enough to experience only the positives in life doesn't make you high and mighty over us. It makes me sick. Some of us are trying to do something about it; and slowly but surely that is. Complaining about life might be the single thing that that one miserable person has left.

Not everyone has the ability think positively after so much. In fact, I think overly optimistic people will be hit the hardest if something exceptionally negative hits them hard in the face. We miserable people are already expecting the worst, so it doesn't hurt as bad. It is absolutely sickening. I do hope to become a bit more positive in life, but not over the top.

Cool

Yesterday I went to Aqua Imports to meet up with two The Planted Tank members. I bought some Taiwan Moss from one of them, and handed over my paintball CO2 to the other one to see if he could help fix the leaky CO2 problem. I saw some nice aquaria like Gertrude's Rainbows, Celestial Pearl Danios, Sparkling Gouramis, Brigitts Rasboras, and Crystal Shrimps. They also supposedly had some Cardinal Shrimp and Furcata Rainbows but they were sold out.

I haven't been remembering what I've been dreaming about lately.

I can't wait for my new 10g setup to cycle so I can get some Crystal Shrimp and not have them die in a vat of ammonia again.

Clearance Bread

Last night I dreamt that my mom, sister, and I were at the bakery section of a grocery store that kinda looked like Safeway and King Soopers mashed into one. The entire bakery section was on clearance since the store was closing down. There was not much of a selection left. I remember seeing minute amounts of breads and other baked goods. I remember walking ahead, when my sister shouted something like, "Hey, look naan! Naaaaaaan!"

So I turn back and head where she was pointing to, and there were a few packages of Naan left, plus a container containing pieces of it as a sample. I remember taking one, and nibbling on it and walking away.



Bread
To see bread in your dream, represents the basic needs of life. Bread may signify the positive qualities and great things you have learned on your journey of life. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to rise above the situation or rise for the occasion.

Clearance
To dream that something is on clearance, suggests that you are selling yourself short. You may be feeling undervalued or under appreciated. Alternatively, it indicates an old habit or characteristic that you need to clear out and rid yourself of.

Market
To dream that you are in a market, represents some emotional or physical need that you are currently lacking in your life. You may be in need of nurturance and some fulfillment. Consider the specific items that you are shopping for. Alternatively, the market signifies frugality.

To see an barren market in your dream, signifies depression and gloominess. There is a void in your life.

Mass Dieout at Petco and Last night's dream

Today I visit the Petco in Longmont, there was at least 1, if not more, dead fish in EACH and EVERY tank including fresh and salt water. Seriouszly... what happened there? Turning into a Walmart or something?

Also last night, I dreamed I was with my sister and mom and we were wondering about how to go to the zoo. So I asked a bunch of bad-ass looking guys for directions and they told me to take the subway. When we got there I remember seeing a huge line for a Ferris wheel and close by was the zoo.

Directions
To dream that you are following directions, represent your need or ability to accept criticism. It also relates to your feelings about authority.

Subway
To dream that you are in the subway, denotes that you are reaching your goal via unconscious methods. By recognizing the hidden aspects of yourself, you are able to move forward in life. Alternatively, a subway suggests that you are making a hasty decision.

Line
To see a line of people or objects, indicates that you need to be more aware of some situation or relationship.

Ferris Wheel
To see or ride on a Ferris wheel in your dream, suggests that you are going around in circles. You are headed nowhere. Alternatively, it is symbolic of wholeness and the circle of life. Life is full of ups and downs.

Zoo
To dream that you are at a zoo, symbolizes loss of freedom. Alternatively, a zoo suggests that your abilities and talents are going unnoticed. You or an aspect of your life feels caged in. The zoo may also represent chaos and confusion as implied by the common phrase "this place is a zoo!" You may need to tidy up some situation in your life.

Last Night's Dream

Last night I remember dreaming about that I was with some guy and we were outside. The sky was kinda grey, but nothing bad at all. I told the guy that I had to go, then I see something forming... a twister. It was kinda clear not too dark and it was extremely close by. I remember trying to out run it to my car and drive away, but I got sucked up and I thought it was the end of my life. The guy tried to grab my hand, I have no clue why he wasn't sucked up. I remember the sickening feel of my body being spun around roughly and being sucked upwards. Everything was in a total blur of course due to the speed and force. Then the twister slowly came to an end and I fell on to the ground.


Tornados
To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive?

To dream that you are in a tornado, means that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Your plans will be filled with much complications and you will be met with a series of disappointments.

Car
To see a parked car in your dream, suggests that you need to turn your efforts and energies elsewhere. You may be needlessly spending your energy in a fruitless endeavor. Alternatively, a parked car may symbolize your need to stop and enjoy life. To dream that you cannot find where you parked your car, suggests that you do not know where you want to go in life.

Spinning
To dream that you are spinning, signifies confusion. You are feeling out of control. Alternatively, the dream means that you are going nowhere.